Newsletter chitchat - November 12, 2024

[Rene Marker]

15 minutes ago, Julie Magerka said:

I really understand how you feel Rene. After my mother died, holidays were very difficult for such a long time. I hope it gets better for you over time.

Thanks Julie. It will never get easier since both my parents are gone and I have no spouse or children of my own. The last 6 weeks of the year has been hard for the family since 1971 when my mom's mother (the glue in her family) passed away the day after Thanksgiving (Nov 26). Three years before Mom passed, my dad's mother passed away the Monday before Thanksgiving and we buried her the day after Thanksgiving, Two years later my mom's father died the beginning of December then Mom the next year. Too much death in my family during that time period.

I have found ways to keep the depression away during the month. I keep busy by scrapping or working on jigsaw puzzles. I've also done a project since 2017 called "Document Your December". I take photos every day and do 31 layouts of what my month was like. Yep, even got a photo of me in a hospital bed in last year's layouts!

[Julie Magerka]

1 hour ago, Rene Marker said:

Thanks Julie. It will never get easier since both my parents are gone and I have no spouse or children of my own. The last 6 weeks of the year has been hard for the family since 1971 when my mom's mother (the glue in her family) passed away the day after Thanksgiving (Nov 26). Three years before Mom passed, my dad's mother passed away the Monday before Thanksgiving and we buried her the day after Thanksgiving, Two years later my mom's father died the beginning of December then Mom the next year. Too much death in my family during that time period.

I have found ways to keep the depression away during the month. I keep busy by scrapping or working on jigsaw puzzles. I've also done a project since 2017 called "Document Your December". I take photos every day and do 31 layouts of what my month was like. Yep, even got a photo of me in a hospital bed in last year's layouts!

Your project to document the month is a wonderful idea. It's something all those family members you've lost would be proud of. They are with you, in your heart and your memories.

[Mary Solaas]

2 hours ago, Rene Marker said:

Christmas has been hard for me since Mom passed away in 1996 on December 26th. I've gone through phases where I decorate a lot or don't decorate at all. Most people get their seasonal depression in January... not me, it starts right after Thanksgiving. On January 1st, I'm a whole new person! The last couple of years I haven't done much decorating at all. Last year was very little because of everything going on and having surgery on the 18th. I just didn't have the energy to do it. I hope to do more this year to celebrate my health being much better!

For a few years, Christmas music was a trigger for me and I couldn't listen to it. Still can't listen to certain songs as they were favorites of Mom. I have some Christmas music of artists (mainly country) that I do enjoy listening to.

But what turns me off the most is the constant Christmas movies on all the different Hallmark channels starting in late October (and can't forget the whole month of July). I used to enjoy them but not anymore.

Dear Rene. I can appreciate your feelings.  For the longest time I had seasonal depression from Thanksgiving through Easter - Mom died just 15 days before Christmas in 1982; my husband died just 10 days after Easter in 1988; my dad died on Thanksgiving Eve in 1989; my brother died on Thanksgiving Eve in 2014. I still loved Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter, but that seasonal depression just kind of lurked in the background so that after the festivities with the family were over, it kind of moved in. My brother was the only one who died at home after suffering from stroke and pancreatic cancer.  I was the caregiver in all but my brother's case; although he and I spent much time together, I took him on several trips during 2013 and 2014, but his youngest daughter was really his caregiver.

[Ann Seeber]

9 hours ago, Julie Magerka said:

I really understand how you feel Rene

I too feel it keenly since my Mom passed in 1985, though it wasn't around Christmas time, the season was so special in our family and now everyone's gone of my generation and earlier. I'm not sure I'm up to doing Santa stuff with the greats. Do still love the music, though.🎵🎄

[Ann Seeber]

9 hours ago, Rene Marker said:

"Document Your December"

What a good idea; reminds me of an Advent Calendar. I'll have to see what will work for me.

[Rene Marker]

4 hours ago, Ann Seeber said:

What a good idea; reminds me of an Advent Calendar. I'll have to see what will work for me.

It also is a way to just document my daily life even though it is boring! But it also kind of forces me to not wallow in the depression but to get out and do things if weather is OK and to think outside the box about the photos I take each day. It has been interesting to look back and see how different each December has been since 2017. I've included screen shots of news headlines some years as well, especially in 2020. 

I first learned about it at The Lily Pad. Their designers design kits around a theme every year and they have a sub-forum with different challenges and tips on completing the project. Some people only do 25 days ending with Christmas. Some people do 6x8 layouts, some do full 12x12 layouts, others do Project Life type of layouts. Some people do something like the Project 52 some of you are completing here this year, with just 1 photo to reference each day.

[Cassel]

33 minutes ago, Rene Marker said:

It also is a way to just document my daily life even though it is boring! But it also kind of forces me to not wallow in the depression but to get out and do things if weather is OK and to think outside the box about the photos I take each day. It has been interesting to look back and see how different each December has been since 2017. I've included screen shots of news headlines some years as well, especially in 2020. 

I think it might be an interesting twist to choose another month of the year (even if it is a "boring" month) to do something similar. It could be a personal challenge, in a way.

[Ann Seeber]

1 hour ago, Rene Marker said:

It also is a way to just document my daily life even though it is boring! But it also kind of forces me to not wallow in the depression but to get out and do things if weather is OK and to think outside the box about the photos I take each day. It has been interesting to look back and see how different each December has been since 2017. I've included screen shots of news headlines some years as well, especially in 2020. 

I first learned about it at The Lily Pad. Their designers design kits around a theme every year and they have a sub-forum with different challenges and tips on completing the project. Some people only do 25 days ending with Christmas. Some people do 6x8 layouts, some do full 12x12 layouts, others do Project Life type of layouts. Some people do something like the Project 52 some of you are completing here this year, with just 1 photo to reference each day.

It is well-known that journaling your thoughts is a path to healing from the trauma of grief. We grieve for many losses, not just death. 🤗

[Rene Marker]

3 hours ago, Cassel said:

I think it might be an interesting twist to choose another month of the year (even if it is a "boring" month) to do something similar. It could be a personal challenge, in a way.

I also do it in October.... to document the colors of fall!

[Corrie Kinkel]

7 hours ago, Rene Marker said:

It also is a way to just document my daily life even though it is boring! But it also kind of forces me to not wallow in the depression but to get out and do things if weather is OK and to think outside the box about the photos I take each day. It has been interesting to look back and see how different each December has been since 2017. I've included screen shots of news headlines some years as well, especially in 2020. 

I first learned about it at The Lily Pad. Their designers design kits around a theme every year and they have a sub-forum with different challenges and tips on completing the project. Some people only do 25 days ending with Christmas. Some people do 6x8 layouts, some do full 12x12 layouts, others do Project Life type of layouts. Some people do something like the Project 52 some of you are completing here this year, with just 1 photo to reference each day.

I like this idea to document a whole month, maybe I am going to do this after the P52 challenge because once I have done a whole year I don't want to do the next year as well. There would be much of the same to document and that doesn't appeal to me. I am lucky in a way that in our family we don't have people dying in december, just the opposite my 2 granddaughters are both born in december; one before and the other after Christmas. August is a month of remembrance for me because my mother and father both died in august only  26 years in between; besides that some of my in-laws died during that month as well.